9 things I have learnt from Winnie the Pooh

1.  Love may be forever but life is not – make the most of your time together.

If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

2. You can’t underestimate the value of anticipation.

‘Well,’ said Pooh, ‘what I like best – ‘ and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.

3.  Don’t make things more complicated than they have to be.

It’s more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like ‘What about lunch?’

4.  Be proactive in making and maintaining friendships.

You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.

5.  Simple pleasures can make all the difference.

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.

6.  There’s no shame in acknowledging your limitations.

‘Pooh,’ said Rabbit kindly, ‘you haven't any brain.’
‘I know,’ said Pooh humbly.

7.  The future won’t always take care of itself – you need to keep an eye on it.

Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.

8.  Inspiration, creativity and ingenuity are gifts we receive when we are open to them – and for which we should be grateful.

Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you.

9.  You can find meaning in surprising places, even if you’re not looking for it.

Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.

Image: luigi diamanti

Feeling fine with flunking

We’ve all heard the legendary story from IBM where a middle manager made a mistake that cost the company three quarters of a million dollars. He went to the CEO’s office to admit his mistake and took with him his resignation letter. The CEO declined to accept the letter and said, 'Why would I want to sack someone I just spent $750,000 training?'

I don’t think my boss would take such a philosophical view – but what a great story!

We’re always busting our gut to reach some destination called ‘success’. But sometimes we forget that failure is often the road we need to take to get there.

Many times the things we call ‘mistakes’ are not really mistakes at all.  They are strategies that didn’t work. Actions we took that had different outcomes from what we predicted. Thomas Edison said, ‘I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.’

Also, success is just an idea – something you made up (or, worse, something someone else made up for you). It's what you feel inside that measures your success. Don't measure your inside against someone else's outside.

Success is completely subjective. For one person, having $5,000 in the bank is the realisation of a lifelong goal; for another person, having $5,000 in the bank is a catalyst for suicide.

Even the most successful people fail sometimes. Einstein was once advised to drop out of school. Henry Ford's first car business flopped. Beethoven's music teacher told him he was a hopeless composer. And Babe Ruth struck out a record 1,300 times. Thomas Edison was considered nearly insane for his invention ideas. And Walt Disney was once fired for lack of imagination.

And finally, sometimes when we actually achieve what we set out to – that is, we succeed – we find the outcome is not what we wanted after all. Inversely, sometimes our mistakes and failures turn out to be blessings in disguise. Who knows how this turn of events will change your life path?

Here are six ways to feel okay about yourself (even if you made a big mistake):

1.   Admit it. This is no time for justifications and excuses. Bite the bullet and confess to yourself and others that you screwed up. Until you acknowledge that you blew it, you can’t move on.

2.   Make it right. This is no time for pride to get in the way. Apologise to others affected by your mistake. Make restitution, if necessary. Put strategies in place to make sure you won’t make the same mistake again. Do it over, if you can.

3.   Consider ways this mistake could help you. Did you learn something to do or not to do? Did you find out something about yourself? Did the mistake make you think about new approaches and directions for the future that you wouldn’t have considered before?

4.   Handle the fallout with, grace, dignity and aplomb. Trying to cover it up, chucking a tantrum, doing the 'woe is me' routine or throwing in the towel are not cool. Persistence and resilience are  the spades you need to dig yourself out of the hole you're in.

5.   Give yourself a compliment. Tell yourself: ‘My plan didn't work, but I learnt heaps along the way’ or ‘I really mucked that up big time but I was brave enough to step way out of my comfort zone’.

6.   Forgive yourself and let it go. No matter what mistakes you have made, you're only human. Maybe you burnt your mum's house down or ran over your neighbour's toddler. It’s absolutely normal to stuff things up from time to time. Build a bridge, baby.

Maybe there are people out there who have never made any mistakes – they are boring people with small lives. I guarantee it.

Picture this

Picture this:

I’m at my daughter’s school awards night and yet another prize winner is announced. The man in front of me raises his camera and videos the still picture of his daughter that flashes up on the big screen (a version of the one he no doubt bought back in January when school photos were taken). As an afterthought, he grabs a quick shot of the back of the minuscule blob on the faraway stage that is the real, live girl, receiving her engraved torch/photo frame/cup.

So, when he watches it on his netbook later, he'll watch a screen displaying a video of a big screen showing a copy of a photo of a girl. Am I the only one who can see something wrong with this picture?

Also, picture this:

I’m at Carols by Candlelight and a speck that is allegedly Damien Leith appears on stage. The woman behind me leaps to her feet to film – not the speck – but rather the big screen to the right of the stage on which he appears.

Question? Why didn’t she just wait for the broadcast on tellie Christmas morning and video the plasma screen in her lounge room? It would have saved her a trip to the cold, dark park.

The only thing worse than this kind of cinematic idiocy is people who hold their wedding a second time, solely because the video of the real ceremony didn’t come out.

Come on, guys. By all means, create mementos to share. But what will you really get out of hours of this meaningless digital tripe?

Image: Michal Marcol

7 things we shouldn’t throw away

You don’t have to be a rampaging greenie to do your bit for the environment. Here are seven things you can keep out of your wheelie bin to reduce landfill. Minimal effort; maximum feel good factor.

1. Plastic hand soap dispensers

Buy a reusable hand soap dispenser and purchase refills in bulk. This will not only save you money but will also add class to your bathroom.(Actually, nothing short of a blockbuster will add class to my bathroom - it's a renovator's nightmare.)

2. Takeaway coffee cups

Buy a reusable cup and take it to your fav coffee joint each time you visit – some of them even say ‘This is a reusable cup’ so you can declare your environmental commitment to the world (and so you don’t forget and throw it away by mistake).

3. Plastic shopping bags

Use reusable totes to carry your groceries. You’ll look more stylish (unless you buy those luminescent green ones, in which case, you won't) and your dog food cans are less likely to explode through the bottom of the bag and roll all over the driveway. Note: your totes are no good sitting in the boot of your car. I am a shocker for this one but I am on a mission to improve.

4. Plastic utensils

If you’re going on a picnic, take reusable cutlery. Let's face it, your quiche and strawbs will taste better from silver (or even stainless steel) than plastic.

5. Old lamps, pictures, toys, furniture and knick knacks

If you can’t eBay or garage sale them, put them in the Salvos bin. Your trash could be someone else’s treasure. (And remember this rule of thumb: the uglier the ornament, the more you can charge for it.)

6. Food scraps

Get yourself a worm farm and feed it all of your food scraps. A kilo of worms can eat and recycle a kilo of food every day. You can use the worm castings to feed your plants and vegies. Alternatively, feed your food scraps to your dog.

7. Packing supplies

Save your styrofoam peanuts and bubble wrap to reuse. Maybe use them to send the stuff you sell on eBay.


Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

***GUEST POST*** Bed linen besties

A warm welcome to Rainbow. Yes, the teen has finally deigned to contribute to The Monstress with her insights in to the mysteries of teen nicknames.

Teenagers are weird – the nicknames we acquire, even weirder.

Sheets, Pillowcase, Jazzy Jam, Livacupcake, Kettle, Lanra, Redecca. How do these names come about? Here are three explanations.

Scenario one:
Friday, second period, home group. We’re sitting at our tables thinking of a way to pass the time. ‘Let’s write upside down letters to each other!’ I screech. Being the first and only suggestion, everyone agrees.

My first recipient was Laura. Everything was going brilliantly until the last few lines: ‘… As this takes immeasurable amounts of concentration I’m going to wrap it up. Muchiful love Lanra...’ I wrote the ‘n’ up the right way instead of upside down. Laura is now widely known as ‘Lanra’.

Scenario two:
Tuesday, lunchtime, the path near the gym. Liv had a rather exquisite looking cupcake. Perfectly spiraled frosting, evenly placed flowers and a coating of hundreds and thousands. Being the most intriguing food item at the time, it started a full blown discussion/debate in relation to the ‘proper’ decoration of cupcakes. After several minutes, Liv expressed her desire to live as a cupcake. Today she is known as Livacupcake.

Scenario three:
The best friend and I were discussing last names and things associated with them. For example Macdonald and Quarter Pounder, Granger and Hermione, Christmas and baubles.

The best friend's last name being Sheridan, we came up with the association (and, inevitable nickname) Sheets. Luckily enough for us, there is also a bed linen company that bears my surname. So, together, we are now known as Sheets and Pillowcase.

As for the others, you’ll just have to use your imaginiation.

15 things you can keep in your freezer

It only takes a couple of Google results pages to realise that there is all kinds of crap in people’s freezers – animal heads, money, kittens, grandmothers…

The story that tickled my fancy was the tale of a dinner guest in Belgium who was helping clear up after a meal and thought she’d helpfully pop the leftovers in the deep freeze. She was pretty surprised to find the bodies of the host's wife and stepson in there.

Here are 15 things you can keep in your freezer (besides dead family members) from the ingenious to the plain freaking weird:

1. Candles – frozen candles burn slower.

2. Batteries – frozen batteries hold their charge for longer. Keeping NiMH batteries in the freezer can boost their life by 90%.

3. Placentas – some people freeze placentas until they are ready to plant them. (Yes, plant them. I’m serious! You can even buy an ‘I have a placenta in my freezer’ t-shirt).

4. Seeds – many seeds will last longer and germinate better once frozen.

5. Your hard drive – hard drive just won’t boot and all you hear is a clicking noise? Put the drive in a sealed plastic bag in the freezer and leave it overnight. It doesn’t always work but you could be lucky.

6. Booze – I'm told that storing cheap alcohol – not just vodka – in the freezer makes it taste smoother (and more expensive). Maybe just buy a better grade of grog?

7. Wedding cake – traditionally, brides and grooms freeze the top layer of their wedding cake until their first anniversary to get a taste of the cake they barely got to see on their wedding day.

8. Wine cubes – when you have a little wine left over (yeah, right), pour it into an ice cube tray and freeze it to use for cooking later.

9. Herbs – like (mythical) leftover wine, freeze spare fresh herbs in an ice cube tray half filled with water. Once frozen, top up the tray and freeze again.

10. Wooden items – placing a wooden item in the freezer for a couple of weeks will kill any woodworms and their eggs.

11. Spices and coffee – storing them in the freezer keeps them fresher.

12. Corn – eliminate popcorn duds by keeping your unpopped supply in the freezer.

13. Pots – if you’ve burned crud on to the bottom of a pan, put it in the freezer for a couple of hours. When burnr food freezes, it’s easier to remove.

14. Smelly things – got a musty book or a fishy plastic container? Place them in the freezer overnight. By morning they'll be fresh again.

15. Will  – put your will and any other important documents in a Ziploc bag and freeze it. If there’s a fire, they won’t burn. (Don’t forget to tell someone you trust where your will is. If you wait till you’re on your death bed to tell them, they’ll think it’s the drugs talking.)

Just for the record, my will is not in the freezer. It’s with my lawyer.

5 fun free activites

Broke? Here are five fun things to do without dough.

1. Try guerrilla gardening. Plant some flowers, a nice groundcover or even some herbs on that boring patch of grass by the roadside/waterfront/bike track. Beautify on the sly.
2. Speaking of the bike track, go biking, rollerblading or walking. Get fresh air and exercise for free.
3. Swap entertainment – trade books, music, games and movies with a friend. You both get new stuff.
4. Volunteering is not something you necessarily think of as fun but when you volunteer you get to hone your skills or learn new ones, meet people and get the warm fuzzy of having given something back to the world. Walk dogs, befriend or fund raise.
5. Have sex – its nature’s favourite fun free activity.

Image: Carl Durocher