If Salvador Dali were a chef, I’m sure these would be his top five culinary tips.
1. Give dishes long names
Dali’s full name was Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domènech, Marquis of Dalí de Púbol, so he was probably missing the succinct gene. Why name a dessert Chocolate cheesecake when you could call it Creamy delicious, dark bittersweet chocolate cheesecake with tart raspberry coulis and ethereal crème Anglaise?
2. Use lots of Spanish ingredients
Dali was born in Spain, so I’ll bet he was a strong supporter of all things Spanish. For a Dali-esque dinner, your shopping list should include the following basics: olive oil, fresh garlic, capsicum, paprika, eggs, potatoes, parsley, tomatoes and tomato sauce, Spanish wine, rosemary, thyme, oregano, saffron, bread and milk.
3. Mix it up
In the interests of surrealism, there is no reason why you can’t use the garlic and saffron in the crème Anglaise and the capsicum and paprika in the raspberry coulis.
4. Consider carefully your cooking garb
I suggest wearing a kimono, every bit of bling in your jewellery box, and a tea towel on your head. Dalí developed a self-styled ‘Arab lineage’, claiming that his ancestors were descended from the Moors. This heritage, he said, gave him his love of everything gilded and excessive, his passion for luxury and his love of oriental clothes.
Dali also had a flamboyant moustache, so if you’re serious about getting in to the Dali cooking groove, get busy with the whisker cultivation.
For a completely authentic cooking outfit, consider a wetsuit. In 1936, Dalí took part in the London International Surrealist Exhibition. He delivered his lecture wearing one of those old-fashioned (though probably modern at that time) deep-sea diving suits and a helmet (incidentally, he nearly asphyxiated). He arrived carrying a billiard cue and leading a pair of Russian wolfhounds but replicating the whole kit and caboodle might be a little over-the-top and you’ll need your hands free to beat the eggs and melt the watches.
5. Be flexible about cooking times
Dalí’s hallmark ‘soft watches’ suggest Einstein's theory that time is relative and not fixed. The idea for clocks functioning symbolically in this way came to Dalí when he was staring at a runny piece of Camembert cheese on a hot day. So, cooking times may vary…or even progress indefinitely.
Image: Carlos Porto
Don't forget to have things like plastic mixing bowls melting over the edges of your kitchen bench
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