2. You wait anxiously by the phone around dinner time, hoping for calls from telemarketers – you know them by name.
3. You are a world champion Solitaire player.
4. All the contacts in your phone start with 1300, 1800 or – worse – 1900.
5. You pretend to be lost just to talk to someone.
6. You check out the mannequins in the Country Road window as potential buddies.
7. You sign up for longitudinal studies because you can count on the researchers calling you back every year.
8. You go to your local pizzeria, DVD store or bottleshop and say ‘It’s my turn to choose, you chose last time’, out loud to yourself.
9. You think James Taylor's You’ve Got a Friend is aspirational.
10. You think the Do not call register's for wimps.
11. Someone tries to rob you at knife point but gives up when you finish talking about your religious beliefs and start on your career plans.
12. You drive around looking for speed cameras and roadworks just so you can call the radio station and talk to someone about the traffic.
13. Your favourite drink is Solo.
14. You look for crowded restaurants so you can share a table with someone.
15. You look forward to death threats from your stalker.
If any of these signs appear in your life, just change your name to Nigel and be done with it.
No comments:
Post a Comment