Lazarus clothing

It's the old story. Last night, you didn’t iron anything to wear to work today – you watched four episodes of your latest vampire/forensic/reality show instead. Half asleep, you throw together an outfit. The look basically hangs together but you can’t find a jacket that works. You reach down the back of the wardrobe and – voila! – the perfect thing.

Okay, it’s the perfect thing except that it hasn’t seen the light of day for three years and it was old then; you’ll need to hang it in the steamy bathroom while you shower to lose the wrinkles and waft it through a cloud of deo to get rid of the musty smell; and how long has that button been missing?; also, you have never liked it that much – it doesn’t quite fit right, the sleeves are a fraction short and the colour is a couple of shades darker than you would prefer. But it will do. Won’t it?

Come off it, Not-very-deep in your heart, you know that jacket is out of style – hell, was it ever in style? Nobody is going to tell you that you look great today and you’re going to feel vaguely yuck until you peel the wretched thing off tonight (and throw it in the bin, if you have any sense.)

Lazarus clothes are those items that we resurrect again and again. Somehow they fly under the radar when we’re doing wardrobe purges. And somehow, they always end up back in the wardrobe ‘just in case’.

But you know what? Nine times out of ten, they should be thrown out. My theory is, if you don’t have it, you can’t wear it. And that’s probably a good thing. You’ll be forced to do without or buy something more suitable to replace it.

So, when should you keep clothes?

For a start, you’re unlikely to keep anything forever (except maybe your wedding dress, if you’re the sentimental type and you don’t get divorced) and, even then, you’d be better off selling it and buying yourself a nice piece of jewellery.

You can keep classic pieces – good quality wardrobe basics in styles and shades that flatter you (Levis, a Burberry trenchcoat, a Chanel LBD) but throw them out when they are showing signs of wear. Also, replace them when the classic style is significantly updated (yes, even classics change over time).

You can keep unique/rare pieces if they’re in good nick – a gorgeous retro velvet smoking jacket in exactly your colour, a one-off skirt tailor-made for you, vintage shoes that precisely match your favourite evening bag.

You can also keep accessories you love.

You can even keep ‘fat clothes’ or ‘skinny clothes’ that you can’t wear right now if they fit in to these categories, but box them up and store them until you can wear them again so they don't clutter up your wardrobe.

And, allow yourself to have one box of ‘maybes’ at any given time (I'm talking a copy paper box, not a shipping container). Pack them up, put them in the garage, and if you don’t need them in the next 12 months, turf the box – without opening it.

Luckily, the pink jacket I’m wearing this morning is a rare retro piece and not a fashion disaster. I know. The boss already told me I’m looking great today. And I'm pretty sure she wasn't being sarasctic.