What sex is your baby?

A young lady at work announced her pregnancy yesterday and, of course, the conversation turned to the sex of the baby. I was astounded by the many old wives tales that sprang up around the room as supposedly foolproof methods for predicting the baby’s sex.

The oldest and best known tale that reared its inevitable head was the ring test. This is where, using a string, you hang your wedding ring over your pregnant belly. You are having a girl if the ring swings back and forth and it’s a boy if it swings in a circle. The lady at work isn’t married, so I’m guessing she’s having a turnip.

Another test involves a key. If you pick up a key at the top (the roundest part), you will have a boy. If you pick up the key at the bottom (smallest part), you will have a girl. If you grab the key in the middle, congrats, it’s twins! If you pick up the whole bunch by the key ring, you’ll have octuplets. (Okay, I just made that last bit up but it’s probably as reliable a gauge as the other key indicators.)

After these two surefire methods, someone came up with the idea that if a woman is carrying high with a big, round belly, she is having a girl. If she is carrying low with a smaller belly that sticks straight out, it’s a boy. Because boy babies are so vastly different in shape from girl babies… Not.

And this one: when the pregnant woman is asked to show her hands, it’s a boy (or her manicure is fresh and gorgeous) if she keeps her palms down. If her palms are up, it’s a girl (or she’s hoping you’ll hand over that cookie).

Do you feel as though your nose is growing? If so, you might be having a boy – a little wooden boy, perhaps?

Then some budding mathematician came up with this equation: add the mother’s age at conception and the year of conception. If the result is an even number, then you are having a girl. If the result is an odd number, then a boy is on the way. I had better get my daughter to the quack for a sex change. Clearly she missed the memo.

The tests got weirder after this. In the Drano test, you combine a tablespoon of Drano and urine (nobody said whose, but I’m guessing the mum’s). If the mixture turns green, it’s a girl. If it turns blue, it’s a boy. If it turns pink, you’ll give birth to an all-in-one copier/printer/fax, so just drink the concoction and be done with it.

Apparently cravings are a diabolically accurate baby sex indicator. If you crave salty foods while pregnant, you can count on having a boy. If you crave sweets, fruit and orange juice, you are having a girl. What if you want to eat the whole world from KFC chips to five dozen Neenish tarts and even your lavender soap? Maybe hide the Drano.

And the last test? If a pregnant woman eats a clove of garlic and the smell does not come out of her pores, it’s a girl. If the smell seeps out of her pores, it’s a boy. At least you can be sure you won’t end up giving birth to a vampire.


Image: Jonathan Fitch