If you don’t sleep, you die

Dragging my butt out of bed this morning was a challenge on the scale of rescuing those Chilean miners. Singlehandedly. With nothing but a piece of string and a butter knife. I’m just not getting enough sleep.

Should I just shrug?

I decided to find out.

It turns out that sleep deprivation causes more than just crankiness around the breakfast table and a dire need for caffeine.

Apart from the usual suspects like balancing your hormones, managing your stress, improving your memory and keeping your weight under control, here are the top seven reasons you need shut-eye:

1. Studies show women need an hour more sleep each night than men - and not getting it may be one reason women are much more susceptible than men are to depression. If you're a chick, you need enough sleep, so that when a man leaves the milk on the bench or the totthpaste uncapped, you don’t put a chainsaw through his head and end up in prison for the rest of your life.

2. A duck can keep one half of its brain awake while the other slips into sleep mode. Most people are not that talented (though, some of my colleagues make me wonder if they have perhaps inherited a stray duck gene). The NRMA estimates fatigue is a factor in one in six fatal car crashes. Indeed, the extra-hour of sleep we receive when clocks are put back for daylight savings coincides with a drop in crashes. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’d make the fashion pages wearing a windscreen.

3. A snail can sleep for three years. You probably don’t need to sleep for that long but after being awake for 17 hours straight, your performance decreases to a level equal to a blood alcohol-level of 0.05%. If you're seeking stupefaction, drink a nice Jansz. It’s quicker and it tastes good.

4. After five nights of partial sleep deprivation, three drinks will have the same effect on your body as six would when you've slept enough. Sure, you’ll save money at the bottleshop but by the time the party gets started, you'll be snoring and drooling on the couch.

5. Missing even half an hour of sleep every night adds up to an impressive sleep debt of 182.5 hours per year. Next time you tell yourself you can get by, stop and consider just how big your sleep debt is. Note: red bull and power naps are not short-cuts to paying this debt.

6. Ants don't sleep but you need to. You would die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation. You can manage about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a few weeks. Hunger strikes are a bit passé, so maybe people could trial sleep strikes to make their political points – at least they wouldn’t have to give up toasted sangers or oreo McFlurries during their protests.

7. The 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill off Alaska, the Challenger space shuttle disaster and the Chernobyl nuclear accident have all been attributed to human errors in which sleep deprivation played a role. I know everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame but there are probably better ways to get it – like chucking out your spouse's winning lotto ticket, shooting yourself by mistake or having octupulets.

Image: Ioana Grecu