(in no particular order)
1. People saying they’re going to do something (put the dishes away, meet me for coffee, go to the doctor) and then not doing it.
2. The man at the dog-wash making inappropriate jokes about blows and knobs in front of my 14-year-old daughter.
3. Cheques. This is the digital era. EFT it.
4. Being on hold – especially when the person who put you on hold reckons he’s Bruce from Brisbane when he’s clearly more like Dwijesh from Delhi.
5. People who set up for bar class directly in front of you, so you can’t see in the mirror.
6. Bad or even indifferent service – checkout chicks of the world, smiling never killed anyone.
7. Indecent prepositions.
8. When you order something and unbeknownst to you, it has tofu in it (especially if you don’t realise until the tofu is in your mouth)
9. People who say, ‘I don’t want to be rude, but…’ and then (practically inevitably)proceed to be rude.
10. Being sick. Who has time to be sick?
11. Poor tech support (wait, was that a tautology and an oxymoron all in one point?)
12. People who clearly can’t understand ‘Eight items or less’ – yes we know it’s grammatically incorrect, buddy, but figure it out.
13. Groups of three or four people who dawdle while taking up the whole footpath – not everyone has all freaking day.
14. Homophobes – yo, Red Cross, rethink your blood donation rules.
15. The overuse of exclamation marks.
16. People who don’t replace the empty toilet rolls and paper towels; who don’t refill the liquid soap; and who don’t empty the dishwasher – it’s not beneath you. Honest.
17. People who whinge when the world and its grandmother doesn’t fall at their feet, even though they’ve done nothing to make their lives the way they want them to be.
18. The noise Siamese cats make.
19. Soapbox vegetarians/vegans, Catholics and reformed smokers.
20. The Palmolive NutraFruit ad where the girl is so desperate to use the product she showers in a public fountain – it’s soap, for Chrissakes.
Image: Gregory Szarkiewicz
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