Sometimes, systems suck

Businesses have systems for all sorts of reasons – to make their offerings consistent, to streamline their processes, to make their services more personal... But the bottom line is that businesses have systems to better service their customers.

Sometimes, systems suck.

Last week, I rang [a local taxi company]. The company’s system remembered the number I was calling from and the operator said: ‘Your pick up address is the Ocean Child Hotel.’

In fact, the last ten times I have called this taxi company, they have asserted that my pick up address is the Ocean Child Hotel.

I can count on one hand the number of times in my entire 40+ year existence that I have frequented the Ocean Child Hotel. Clearly, on one of these occasions, when I have been somewhat enthusiastic with my beverage consumption and (responsibly) called a cab, some overzealous operator has assigned my number to that destination – permanently and irrevocably, it seems. Because, no matter how many times I gently correct the person on the other end of the phone, establishing my current pick up address and mentioning the fact that I am calling from my mobile (read: portable, movable, could-be-anywhere) phone, the company representative still answers my call with: ‘Your pick up address is the Ocean Child Hotel.’

Sometimes, systems suck.

The other day, I overheard my colleague calling a company to make some changes to his account. When they asked for his address details, he provided them. From my perspective, there was a moment of silence while the person spoke to him before he replied: ‘I don’t care what’s listed on your system – that’s where I live.’

Sometimes, systems suck.

I called [a high end hotel] to ask for the company name on our account to be corrected. The woman I spoke to told me there was no way to change it in their computer software and offered to send me out a new account with a piece of paper bearing the correct name taped over the old one on the invoice.

I asked her if she was joking.

Sometimes, systems suck.

I took my dog, Nellie, to the vet last week. She is a fairly large, ill-mannered and boisterous dog who was somewhat excited to be out for a car ride at eight in the morning and even more energised by the noisy cat in a carry case on the floor by the reception desk (I am not sure whether she thought the cat was a potential friend or breakfast).

Meanwhile, I was somewhat tense about her imminent procedure and even more uptight about the impact of said operation on my credit card.

It would be fair to assume this is the status of many pet/owner duos visiting the veterinary clinic early each morning.

So, understanding the special combination of excitement/angst, did an efficient veterinary nurse descend swiftly and whisk Nellie away to a waiting operating theatre to free me up to complete the admissions procedure? Not on your Nellie (had to get that in somewhere).

Instead, I was forced to juggle a runaway dog while simultaneously trying to placate an increasingly irate cat owner and retrieve my credit card details to complete an interminable admission form.

Sometimes, systems suck.

Businesses have systems to better service their customers – but to do this, they need to be tested, reviewed and applied alongside (not instead of) common sense. Especially when their customers complain about the systems. But preferably before it comes to that.

Image: Pixomar