13 real resumé comments

Can you believe the crap people write on their resumés? Here are 13 real resumé comments about previous employment:

1. Reason for leaving last job: bounty hunting was outlaw [sic] in my state.

2. Note: please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.

3. My boss fired me after I dyed the salmon uniform a better shade – even though he agreed it clashed with my hair.

4. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

5. Reason for leaving last job: responsibility makes me nervous.

6. My last employer insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions.

7. Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches.

8. My last employer made me eat his wife’s cabbage soup. I couldn’t think of a good way to tell him I didn’t like cabbage, soup or his wife so I quit.

9. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

10. I have a health thing which occurs which causes extreme pain and I ran out of sick leave so I need a job with good conditions especially at least 10 days of personal leave.

11. The company made me a scapegoat – just like my three previous employers.

12. Reason for leaving last job: the owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.

13. Reason for leaving last job: pushed aside so the vice president’s girlfriend could steal my job.


Image: healingdream